Money

DENGAN NAMA ALLAH YANG MAHA PEMURAH LAGI MAHA PENYAYANG

(Tidaklah aku menulis hari ini melainkan dengan keizinan dari-Nya)

Money money money

Its all about money

We keep saying it cant buy love but it is, how funny

Money make me happy

Money make me angry

Money make me crazy

Its all about money

Even when ask for accompany

And also to stay with me

How funny it is please tell me

Did you ever care for me?

Did you ever love me?

I keep wondering, its kill me

Just...

DENGAN NAMA ALLAH YANG MAHA PEMURAH LAGI MAHA PENYAYANG

(Tidaklah aku menulis hari ini melainkan dengan keizinan dari-Nya)

would you be understandable?

my words

my world

if only you can accept

if only you will get

the things that i have in my mind

the words that i wish you to listen

the concept that i want you to concern

i build the wall

so no one will fall

i let them trust

but i'm getting frust

with all the harsh

you wish to become successor

but you don't realize that you are the spoiler

having enough time to laugh

yet you forget the task

so let me ask if it even hard?

i guess it is since you asked for that

too bad

i hate it with all my heart.

Hadiah...

DENGAN NAMA ALLAH YANG MAHA PEMURAH LAGI MAHA PENYAYANG

(Tidaklah aku menulis hari ini melainkan dengan keizinan dari-Nya)

Maka berlalulah hari ini sebagaimana yang diingini

Tanpa sesiapa mengetahui

Biarlah ia berlalu sepi

Allah lebih memahami

Akan maksud di hati

Buat pertama kali

Hari itu berjaya dilalui 

Walau terasa sunyi

Tapi mungkin itulah yang terbaik buat diri

Malah itulah jua yang diniati

Maka Allah tunaikan permintaan hati

Justeru pada Allah dia berserah diri.

"Maka nikmat Tuhanmu yang manakah yang kamu dustakan?"

(Surah ar-Rahman)

Hadiah paling berharga dari Ilahi. Alhamdulillah untuk setiap kemudahan yang diberikan pada hari ini.

Drama Queen?

DENGAN NAMA ALLAH YANG MAHA PEMURAH LAGI MAHA PENYAYANG

(Tidaklah aku menulis hari ini melainkan dengan keizinan dari-Nya)

Like you, hate you

for some reason increasing the 'hate you'

Don't wanna talk

Don't wanna get choked

but your attitude just make me wanna do bad talk.

Hate to admite it myself

your behaviour made me depressed

you don't even know that I am stressed 

watching you behave like an actress. 

Like you, loving you

it is not that I never try

you are confusing me to die

Like you? Me myself can't even lie

but too bad right now I hate your attitude to die.

Looking at her face

make me wanna embrace

seeing her gaze

somehow I got scared

Just because of your attitude

she claimed us for being rude

you know I hate it, dude

you should behave like a good (girl)

but you just end up being crooked.

Right now,

Think straight and have a good perspective - I just can't

you always appear in front of my sight that I wanna scan (observe)

Seriously, sinceley

I just denied your appearance 

that are all I can stand (do).

"You play with the tears, girl. For what reason? Asking for sympathy? Asking for the good marks? I see it unfair. At the end I lost my respect towards you, girl."

Trust..

DENGAN NAMA ALLAH YANG MAHA PEMURAH LAGI MAHA PENYAYANG

(Tidaklah aku menulis hari ini melainkan dengan keizinan dari-Nya)

~conversation between us, friend~

Miss R:

We can have a lot of friends but to have someone that you can truly trust is hard. Am I right or wrong? 

Trust, means everything. It can be you who trust others or is that person qualified enough to be trusted by someone? 

We learn about human all these times. To trust them and having someone

you really trust is hard. 

Miss K:

Yup. That word 'TRUST' makes me scared. Even with the person who share almost everything with you. That moment when people said to me "I trust you." 

Nah, stop doing that if you're not gonna do the same. And then I need to trust you. I take those words seriously but people only do cheap talk and always make me forgive them. Because we are just human. We can't trust people. The real mistakes is when they don't know what is their mistakes. How scary is that. 

Miss R:

I got to face these kind of person again. The word 'trust' for me is related to responsibility. Seriously made me upset. 

So it is true that not all people we can trust. 

Somehow I got the answer why I told you everything back then. We shared the same opinion. I got to learnt deeply the word trust when I met you, Ainn and those friends in Annur. I believe that once you told them something they are supposed to keep it yourself. Just like how you practice being a counsellor or psychologist. 

~Miss R & Miss K: And the biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply. And that what make it really worst.

You...

DENGAN NAMA ALLAH YANG MAHA PEMURAH LAGI MAHA PENYAYANG

(Tidaklah aku menulis hari ini melainkan dengan keizinan dari-Nya)

~Bicara Sang Hati~

Hey you..
Yes you
Who exist in my fantasy
I can't help but just to see you
To meet you
I know it is impossible
So I just meet you in my dream
The world that only a certain people exist
The world that I can see you
The world that I can meet you
Right in front of my eyes
The world that they don't understand...

Like you
Leave you
Let you go
It's all I can do..

Indeed it is hurt
But I must let you go
Saying goodbye to you
One day even if it's hard
And stop being childish..

You
Who I can only see in my dream
 I can smile brightly
And sinsecerely
All thanks to you
Gain me a strength
Be more optimis
Never give up
Thanks again
Sinsecerely and seriously
Because all of these
I learnt from you..

Watching you from far
Somehow I learnt to be strong.

I'm glad I got to know you..

Cry If You're Hurt...

DENGAN NAMA ALLAH YANG MAHA PEMURAH LAGI MAHA PENYAYANG

(Tidaklah aku menulis hari ini melainkan dengan keizinan dari-Nya)

Jatuh - Sakit - Menangis

(cry out loud if you want)

Back then, when I was a kid I'll cry whenever I want and stop whenever I should.

But now, it's different.

Even if it's hurt but the tears won't come out. At the end I'm the one hurt myself.

.................................................................

8 tahun, di sebuah sekolah rendah kebangsaan...

"Ouch!"

Dia jatuh. Di atas jalan tar, berdekatan tapak perhimpunan.

Dengan bantuan rakan-rakan, dia bangun. Terasa pedit di lutut. Kain diselak. Luka. Berdarah. Dia menangis. Sakit? Mungkin. Tapi, lebih kepada sebuah persoalan.

"What should I do?"

Cikgu Azmi, guru kelas datang menghampiri. Dia dibawa ke bilik guru. Cikgu Azmi sapu ubat pada luka tersebut. Mata dia masih berair. Tidak berhenti menangis. Masih terdengar esakan halus. Guru lain hanya memandang. Simpati mungkin.

Cikgu Mahadi, guru disiplin masuk bersama rotan di tangan. Sesi kelasnya sudah tamat barangkali. Cuak, sakit, malu, semua menjadi satu. Dirinya menjadi tumpuan guru-guru dalam bilik guru tersebut. 

"Siapa ni?" Tanya Cikgu Mahadi.

"Oh, Fatin. Kenapa ni?"

"Jatuh." Jawab Cikgu Azmi.

"Jatuh? Macam mana boleh jatuh?" Matanya melirik pada kesan luka di lutut.

"Ala.. sikit je ni. Dah, jangan menangis." Pujuk Cikgu Mahadi.

...............................................................

Dulu..

dia tahu apa itu sakit

dia arif waktu bila harus menangis

konsep yang mudah

jatuh - sakit - menangislah

Kini...

dia 'jatuh'

'Sakit' hanya terucap di bibir

menangis jauh sekali

dia simpan

dia pendam

jauh di sudut hati

batinnya menangis tanpa henti

menjerit sekuat hati

tangisan

seakan tidak mahu muncul lagi..

It's hurt once you know you wanna cry but you can't